Irish suicidals must try harder

Toast was disappointed today to learn that Ireland is only fifth in the European Youth Suicide League. Come on sad-sacks of the nation, you can do it!

A report released today shows Ireland’s suicide rate rose by ten per cent in 2007 from 2006, while incidents involving self-harm were also on the rise.

Maybe if the self-harmers went the extra mile, dug just a little deeper or attempted to kiss a moving train, Ireland wouldn’t be lagging behind.

On top of that, maybe some of the country’s depressed folk can flush their meds, who knows, they might actually feel better. If not though, they can top themselves knowing they’re doing their nation a favour.

We don’t have to win the league, let’s aim for top four and take it from there. Rome wasn’t built in a day.